Being at work on a Saturday at 7 am! But I got a bagel on my way in, so am slightly mollified.

I played with Wii Fit last night. I forgot I already had a profile on my machine when I was playing around with someone else's copy at Christmas so I was scolded for having been "away" for the last five months. Oh, and according to Wii's BMI calculations, I am Underweight. :\

This means I have lost much more muscle weight than I had previously thought. Having NO bodyfat 10 years ago to wanting to loose a few jiggly pounds today, and not having more than 10 pounds difference in the "then" and now" weights is some kind of messed up.

To make health goals more confusing I can fit into my senior year prom dress, worn exactly 10 years ago last month. In fact I'm wearing it out again tonight.

So...I don't want to lose weight, I want to exchange weight.

I put 30 minutes into my little Fit piggy bank and while it may have felt over simplified and "not enough of a work out" last night, today I can feel it a bit so that's good.

I'm pretty sure Tiggy is mocking me.

Okay so the windshield happy dance is postponed until tomorrow but the guy who came out was very nice and explained WHY my windshield has come unglued from my car's face. He didn't have my glass in stock but it'll be here tomorrow.

My faith is restored. It's also very pretty outside, so I'm sure that helped.

I got the results from my ultrasound back at my follow-up appointment yesterday. I have two normal sized healthy kidneys and a bladder. I'm still miffed about the $500 it cost to find that out, but eh, at least I know. So since I can't lose weight to bring my bp down, and am told excercise alone doesn't have a lot of impact on bp if your at a healthy weight with good cholesterol (me) and now TWO docs are convinced it's not just the extreme nerves I get whenever I'm in a doc's office, I am told it's all dad's fault and I have an inherited hypertension. And a Rx for at teeny dose of bp medication to start out on.

That still makes me cranky because it just seems WRONG to be on drugs at 26. But all their arguments are sound I suppose. I guess it'll come down to side effects. If I get all dizzy or develop a cough or any other persistent side effects that's it, I'm done!

Of course I'm taking a meditation course that might allow me to shake the white coat heebie jeebies but of course I skipped it last night. But I went to bed early instead so I'm well rested and that's valid excuse, right?

My personal space bubble is about yea big right now.





(you can't see it it's so miniscule and tiny)

I spent TWO hours at the doctor's this morning for a routine physical. I am drained of all fluids and STARVING because I had to fast for blood tests. But I don't have time to eat! The blood pressure conversation resumed and he is not concerned at all about the top number and the ol' ticker is doing fine, but he just wants to pinpoint why the bottom number, which apparently isn't directly responsive to stress/anxiety/"white coat" nerves, is "high" according to the standard of what consists of a healthy bp. So in about 10 minutes I have to go for a consultation with a nephrologist about ANOTHER appointment in two weeks for a renal ultrasound, to start investigating my kidneys a little more.

Faboo!

Must go grocery shopping tonight. Didn't have anything portable to eat in the car so I ate breakfast too late and completely screwed the blood sugar this morning. Mornings are busier here at the new job and a blob of oatmeal does NOT cut it anymore. I'm finding a good helping of dairy made it a non-issue last week. Or it could all just be a coincidence. Maybe I was just eating earlier, but waiting until I get into work and eating some trail mix, a cereal bar, and an apple doesn't do enough to stave off the 11 o'clock shakes, and those are all good foods! Those single serve cups of cottage cheese worked well last week. By the time the shakes hit though I'm not feeling ravenous, just kind of yucky, and then I don't want to eat! What gives?!

Whine.

I blew a bunch of money on beads this weekend and finished up a few pieces. Saturday night Snicks and I went mall trolling and I ended up with one of the most awesome pair of underwear ever. Either we're just gamer geeks attaching our own fangirlness to things or some closet gamer out is there designing underwear (...maybe don't think too hard about that). Snicks holds up a pair of underwear; they are kelly green (let's call it kokiri green) with little clusters of triangles on them and goes "Look! Triforce underwear!"

Me: o.O MUST HAVE!

The End.

Unfortunately they had no cute bras my size in stock that day, but they do carry them! I will continue to stalk them.

I seriously have no idea what the hell happened to my knees overnight in the middle of Disney last week, I have never hurt in this particular fashion before. No amount of Advil seems to do anything but after a day and a half of wallowing on the couch this weekend things weren't so bad this week. Today? I have had to walk all over and back again and would like to request being taken out back and shot, please.

I was going to stay late at work tonight, to see a program kick-off just to better understand how it works, but not after today. Tonight is the hottest bath my weanie hot water heater can manage. I have a brand new water heater that can't even fill up the tub before running cold. Fail.

( I tell you, I think this round-a-bout over my blood pressure will be the self-fulfilling prophecy. )

( Also on the TMI front: )

So, now I'm going to take a hot shower, maybe play a little PW, and think zen thoughts.

I was all excited because the first few days I've been having to monitor my blood pressure at home it was sort of in the range of "normal". But now I'm getting all stressed and preoccupied about what those stupid little numbers are going to say, and of course getting nervous about it does not result in nice low numbers. No good!

Obviously I'm getting way ahead of myself. I haven't even been monitoring for a week yet and I'm already "Oh my god I SUCK! I am slothful gluttonous slob who doesn't take care of herself!".

The only thing true there is that I don't really make an active effort to take care of myself. Up until now it's just sort of taken care of itself. School and playing and friends and recess or walking all over campus all day pretty much takes care of everything and is a pretty balanced lifestyle. I didn't make any changes when I went to a full time office job which is a big change to the daily schedule, so I don't know why it surprises me when I find out some thing's a little out of whack.

I'd like to hear what the doc has to say next month when I go back for exercise suggestions that don't make me want to wheeze and die. Getting enough oxygen to sustain even 10-15 minutes of good heart thumping activity is sort of an issue when ones lungs are all scarred to hell.